“If the answer is ‘no’ for any length of time, that would be a reason to seek help,” she says. That said, Parisi recommends checking in with yourself to see if you are able to keep up with your life. “Anything from three to four weeks that hasn’t moved forward deserves extra attention from a professional.” “If you can work, go to school, find the ability to laugh, smile, and experience some level of joy even for a short while within a month of the, it is running its natural course,” he tells Bustle. Klapow notes that may be typical to experience several weeks of intense distress, after which some of the more visceral feelings should start to subside. There’s no normal timeline when it comes to healing from heartbreak, says O’Reilly. Here are 11 signs your relationship grief is more than it seems, according to experts.

While any symptom that is particularly debilitating or long-lasting can be a reason to seek help, mental health professionals agree that there are particular indicators that your heartbreak is turning into more serious. But if you’re missing some of those supports, coping can be all the more difficult. “Protective factors” like emotional support systems, access to medical care, spiritual beliefs, and employment stability can make healing from heartbreak easier, Parisi says. “And for people who have already had depressive episodes or who are predisposed to depression, a heartbreak could trigger an episode.” “A lot of the ‘heartbreak’ symptoms overlap with other disorders, especially depression,” she tells Bustle. And there’s a reason that grief is so agonizing: It can literally cause emotional and physical pain, says licensed counselor Erin Parisi, LMHC, CAP. You’re grieving the loss of not only a partner, but your dreams for a future that included that person, she explains. Heartbreak looks different on everyone because it’s a form of grief, says licensed mental health counselor Brennan C. And understanding when your heartbreak is becoming something more serious can help you start healing.

Even if you’re glad to be out of the relationship, major life changes like dealing with the end of a relationship can be rife with emotional turmoil.

When you are heartbroken